A Creating Life

 This past twelve months has been the worst year of my life, COVID has nothing to do with either.   Last year my husband and I were returning from our first international trip, cruising around idyllic (and some not so) pacific islands for twelve days.  Did a few things I had never done before such as being driven on the ‘wrong’ side of the road, snorkelling a reefs around a tropical island before sailing back towards home.  We sailed through thick smoke that stretched from the fires that were burning Australia all the way to New Zealand, I remember dreading what I might return to but that didn’t prepare me for the nightmare that waited for me at home.   I was yet to turn my phone on as we docked in Sydney harbour when there was a knock at the door, our travelling companion came with news no parent could want to hear, our son was in hospital with multiple stab wounds endured during a mugging, three days before.  I remember sitting in shock in our cabin, tear...

For most of my life I had a fear of being in water where I could not touch bottom.  It wasn’t all the time, it would kick in and sudden panic would come over me as I struggled to keep my head above water.  I can swim, learned as a child. I specifically remember one instance where I had joined the Girl Guide group I was in for a trip to the pools.  I found myself unable to touch bottom, panicky and trying to keep my head from going under by madly treading water and trying to move to the edge of the pool.  The edge was only about a metre and a half away but it felt like forever before I finally could grip the side.  A friend was sitting on the edge watching and asked what I was doing as I held on for dear life trying to catch my breath. For many years I would not go into deep water,  but I loved being in the water on a hot day.   Movies that showed underwater scenes where swimmers had to go under and hold their breath absolutely terrified me. Then ...

It took me a while to get through the heartache, I was so lost for a while. I even resigned from my job but thankfully a chat with the 2IC helped me, she was so kind and patient, such a difference from my direct manager.  She offered to have me put back into the section I had originally been hired for and only worked a couple of weeks in.  So much better, not running around the countryside trying to get jobs done in unreasonable time slots - I was being assigned 12 or 13 hour plus days, which did not take into account the time it took to drive between venues.  I was burned out. But it so much better what I am doing now, the time limits for the jobs aren't always the best but I love the work and especially the ladies I have been working with.  I am very grateful for what my manager did for me. Today is my daughter's birthday, she's 26.   She and I went out for lunch, her choice was for Pancakes at the Rocks.  The food was great, we had Calamari, Pot...

It's been a hard, very emotional week.  My dear Father in Law passed away last week at 78 years old, we say our final goodbyes tomorrow.  This last year has been a year of loss for our family, it's been so hard losing loved ones.  I suppose the consolation is that each lived their lives as best as they could, most were around the 90 year mark.  First it was my Aunt, she was 91, then my Mother in Law at 87, then one of  my husband's cousins at just under 70, tragically followed just a week later by his 91 year old Mother - my husband's favourite Aunt, then it was one of my mother's cousins also around 91 years.  These were in such a small time frame of around 5 weeks for the first four.  Then just 2 weeks ago another of my husband's Aunts passed.  Now this past week his father has gone too. I am trying to cope but with my husband not showing his emotions, I know he is hurting which is probably why it's hitting me so hard, I'm an empath and am d...

Last week there was a carton left by our front door for my husband, I would usually bring them in but this time I noticed the word bicycle on it and guessed it might have been for my birthday this week.  Not wanting to spoil the surprise I left it out there, it's quite safe we are on a battleaxe block and the house is not visible from the road.  I had visions of a green ladies style bike dancing around in my head, I was going to be disappointed if my husband had simply bought himself a new bike.   We don't usually give birthday gifts until the evening when everyone is home, I'd noticed that he had disappeared into the garage after he got home from work and then later I heard the telltale sound of a bike being wheeled into the house.   So here she is in all of her green glory.   She's perfect but I need to name her, any ideas would be helpful.   I need a new helmet, something ladylike and cute.  I found some lovely...

We've had record-breaking weather here, 47oC on Sunday. Usually, summer weather wouldn't go much above 41, but these last two Summers have had very high temps.  We aren't even into the hottest part of Summer yet either.  We had storms come through last night, it's lovely and cool right now but the forecast is for high 30's.  Going to be a sauna.   I've been waiting for work to come through, have had the past three weeks off.  Highly unusual for me to have much time off over the Christmas break, usually Christmas Day would be my only guaranteed day off.    I didn't know what to do with myself, procrastinated quite a bit.  I know I should have used my time much better. Have been decluttering - slowly and haphazardly.  I'm not sure whether to have a yard sale or just to donate, I'm waiting to see how much I end up with.   My vintage Singer collection got a boost this weekend, I was gifted 2 sewing machines b...